Youth Mental Wellness Reel Camp for Girls March 14-19, 2022
day-by-day + films produced
Day 1
After a few sign-ins, temperature checks, and sharpies on name tags, our first Reel Camp of 2022 took off once again within the embrace of Ka Waiwai. Once we settled onto our pillows or chairs, our facilitators Punihei and Makanalani began to welcome in and model for the participants the mana-ful process of pilina. For the first two hours of the session, participants had a chance to truly dig deep into what it means to hold space with and for a person; that listening, being present, giving gratitude, and thanking someone for their stories and the privilege to listen to them is all a part of that experience. With the help of Makanalani and Punihei, participants enthusiastically engaged in the braiding of this collective chord in real-time through these various exercises and with each dyad exercise. Much like the knots within a braid, participants grew stronger in their interest and care for one another. During breaks, people would walk across the room to talk to people they had just met and everyone seemed so interested in supporting and learning more about one another. As Punihei started the pilina process off with a quote from a poem, “we are our stories,” these two hours saw participants steadily embodying their stories, experiences, and feelings, standing firm in them, and others taking that in and appreciating it.
The rest of the session focused on lectures concerning basic camera and lighting techniques as well as hands-on practice with cameras, sound, and markers. Before leaving, Vera gives the participants a prompt to think on a little more before the next day’s session. What kind of story do you want to tell? What would you need to make that story happen in a film? What matters to you?
I have a feeling after the pilina they all created together and the mana that let into the room, there will be no shortage of incredible ideas to hear and, eventually, see.
Day 2
With a whole night to dream, visualize, and plan, the participants returned to Ka Waiwai on the second day with mental rough drafts of the films they are going to be making. It always amazes me how quickly participants are able to come up with an idea for a movie; it usually takes me about an hour into writing a poem before I realize what it’s about. Once the ideas were let free into the space to wander and join the other potential films getting ready to be made, we took a moment to remember the other important factor that brought us together this week: mental wellness.
Amanda Martinez of Mental Health America of Hawaiʻi spent the first hour of the camp breaking down what it means when we think of and see the phrase ‘mental health’ in the mainstream, as well as how this phrase is something we have the privilege of individualizing and suiting to our own particular wants and needs. Amanda’s presentation was a comprehensive and beautiful reminder that while managing mental health can feel like a task, we are not limited in the ways we can take care of it. Everything we do contributes to it so, therefore, instead of feeling bogged down by the vast array of options that exist to negatively affect us, we can instead take a moment to be in awe of how many options exist to healthily treat us. We are allowed to decide what rest, comfort, and health looks like and feels best for us as individuals. There is stress but there is also relief.
The remainder of the session consisted of team formations and continued hands-on practice with equipment, as well as finalizing the scripts and learning more about editing. The teams all naturally seemed to come together. Contagious laughter and intense concentration existed simultaneously alongside one another for the last few hours in the space, each team figuring out how they work with one another, who has what role, and what the plan of action is for the coming days.
The energy is high and I’m stoked to see where it takes them.
Day 3
Our third session started off with a review of our community agreements. This is the first day that most of the teams will be filming their first scenes and so a quick review felt like a good idea. Everyone gets along, respects one another, as well as the role each person within the team plays. There is a definite cohesion that’s taken place within each group and between the participants as a whole. Teamwork (and making a film) can be stressful, however, so taking a minute or two to remind ourselves what tools we have to take care of ourselves in stressful situations and mindsets is always appreciated in the long run.
And the rest of the day was spent putting those agreements into practice. The days where the teams film within the space is a process to behold in that, one can see respect, listening, patience, and self-checking unfold in real time. I’m not used to seeing it in most spaces, period. Most of the things listed in the agreements are things we should be engaging in every single day with those we build community with and share close bonds with; unfortunately this isn’t always the case. Whether it’s exhaustion or a complete lack of care, we miss out on opportunities to practice kindness and space holding for one another.
The Reel Camp space is different and the filmmaking days in particular stand out to me. Each team has to negotiate use of the space for their films. Everybody respects the time, listens for “quiet on set,” exercises patience as a scene is being wrapped up, and they are sure to check in with each other throughout the process. It is a mini example of what the world and human relations could look like if we took the time to practice these fundamentals with one another. It’s very cool to see that happening.
Looking forward to the fourth day and more mini ideal world-building.
Day 4
It’s been so long since the last reel camp. I almost feel like I’m seeing every process for the first time at this camp. Reel Camps are accelerated filmmaking courses wherein participants learn about the basics of filmmaking, script writing, storyboarding, shooting, and editing all within a week. They do all of this within a week and not everyone is a returnee: so many folks are coming into this with fresh eyes and not having touched a camera before.
I know people reading this are most likely aware of what Reel Camps are. It’s been written about extensively and we’ve all seen the pictures as well as the movies produced at the camp over the years. This isn’t a new event. I suppose I am reflecting in this post today. Writing about what the camps entail just to remind myself again that oh yeah, this is a real thing that happens: all of these people come together and make an entire short film from the ground up. From scratch. In six days. That’s wild! That’s so cool!
I certainly felt that during the fourth session. While some groups were editing and finalizing things like the press kit or music choices, others were filming additional scenes to add on. The room felt busy. It felt energized. Mentors, participants, and other staff were running around and keeping the energy flowing. Movement never ceased both physically and mentally. Everyone was engaged in some sort of creative process, some sort of activity related to the film, some means of ensuring their film will come to light exactly the way it is meant to.
And to think it was only on Monday that some people were familiarizing themselves with the boom mic or the way a slate works. Now they have it down. Know what their tools are. Know that everything they do contributes to the film. Amazing.
Day 5
It’s another busy day at Ka Waiwai. During the last three days of the camp leading up to the screening, it’s mostly fine-tuning. There is a day (day and a half for some) set aside for filming and then the next two days are spent reviewing the footage, setting it up, and editing. There is a lot of time spent on editing and you can usually find both participants and mentors glued to those big computers, concentrated on perfecting every last detail. It’s a mixture of loud busy and quiet busy; people laughing and discussing what their film is about alongside intense focus on the footage playing itself out over and over on the screen. Two different parts of a mission. All of it needed.
A lot of the day is spent brainstorming keywords, phrases, and themes that make up each team’s film. On index cards, participants who aren’t actively engaged in editing write down what they think best describes their movie. What’s the overall point it’s trying to make? What is the importance of this topic? Are there layers to it? Are there multiple conversations taking place? Why make a film about this in the first place? All of these are necessary questions to think about when coming up with these descriptions.
We end the day in a circle as we always do. The room has gone from most people not knowing each other to what feels like a family reunion every time we’re in a session. It’s a familiar energy. It is an abundant energy. I’m sure this will only grow once we see the films on Saturday.
Day 6 + Film Screening
In addition to acknowledging the reality that is mental wellness and the difficulties surrounding even having a discussion about it, we have spent considerable time this week thinking and talking about the ways in which we take care of ourselves beyond the conventional modes we are fed. Stuck in the middle of intense stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and triggering moments, the solution we are given from the mainstream is to not let it get to us. To “ignore” things. To repress. To push to the side and deal with later, meaning, not deal with at all. We are told to push through the hard moments, “big” and “small,” and pretend they do not affect us. Time is not allotted in this capitalistic world. A moment to the side taken for ourselves is a moment we could have instead spent contributing to the life-blood of the colonial machine. Our mental health is seen as the last priority in everything, especially for girls, young women, and trans and non-binary people.
I will admit upfront that this week has been tiring. It’s been a minute since I’ve done a Reel Camp and while I have enjoyed being amongst the creative energies and watching participants form new friendships and grow closer each day, I forget how intense the process is. I’m not even making films or mentoring and I still need a nap almost as soon as I get home. It can be a lot to keep up with the activities as people go back and forth between filming, editing, circles, and so on and so forth. Due to the action-filled week, I have had to be very diligent in my self-care; ensuring that I give myself food, water, watch or read something that I love or that relaxes me when I get home, take a walk, and any other thing that allows me to decompress. Wind down. Take a few breaths before the next round.
And that’s truly what these films were about. While some may view them as just rallying cries towards further educating society at large on issues regarding sexuality, gender, and race, they are also saying something additional that is just as powerful: mental wellness comes in many varied and unexpected forms. In “O is for Oliver” by Trans Trains Studio, audiences are presented with the very real and painful trauma that trans youth have to encounter living in a cis-hetero centered world: misgendering and deadnaming. Despite being deadnamed and misgendered by someone in the film, the central character Oliver doesn’t fall back into the false safety of going along with society’s expectations. They instead correct this person and continue to assert their true, authentic self throughout the remainder of the film. Serendipity Productions’ “Finding Us” provides us a unique glimpse into multiple struggles. The film goes back and forth between the experiences of a young person grappling with the images of violence and damaging rhetoric spewed by anti-Black and anti-Asian racists, a dancer who is struggling to find satisfaction in their medium as well as difficulties with concentration and critiques from their dance coach, and a final young person going through what we forget can initially be a rough and solitary process of finding one’s place as a young, queer person within the LGBTQI+ community. As we see each young person encounter obstacles and mental anguish through these individual trials, the film concludes with each person finding the strength and resolve to persist through coming together and being there for one another. In “Persevere” from Um Productions, three young people are shown engaging in a similar storyline to “Finding Us,” with the emphasis being on each person’s hobbies and the anxiety, naysaying, and rough patches they all seem to encounter on the exact same day. After realizing they all had the worst day possible the day before, they immediately begin a campaign of support, love, and encouragement for one another, leading to not only the courage to pick up and try their hobbies again but also success in what they set out to do. The last film, “Behind My Smile,” was gifted to us by The Dumpling Directive. Through the symbolic use of a face mask as a metaphor for silence and shame, we see the main character Riley deal with anxiety, the pressure to conform, and a hard decision to stand up to continued verbal abuse at the hands of their pushy classmate, Denise. After a huge blowout where Riley finally explodes on Denise, Riley approaches the social worker who asked if they were ok in the opening of the film, Miss Alexa, and finally concedes to needing help. The removal of the face mask at the end and the message “it’s always ok to ask for help,” solidifies that needing help is not something to be ashamed of.
I say ‘unexpected’ because most of what we saw at the screening on Saturday evening may not be considered forms of self-care or health maintenance at first glance. When we are not paying attention to the mainstream narrative of “shut up, shut out, and shove down” in regards to our mental health struggles, the messages and images of mental wellness we are given may look like sleeping in, eating big fancy meals, buying expensive things for ourselves, or taking a trip to ~get away from it all~. These are valid. They work for a lot of people. But they are not applicable to everyone, not accessible to everyone, nor are they always useful for helping with mental wellness on the daily or in extreme circumstances. When folks are misgendered, deadnamed, made the victim of racial violence/rhetoric, unmotivated in a medium or hobby, or in a pressure cooker of arm-twisting and harassment, it isn’t always an option to get on a plane. Sleep in a few hours past the alarm. Go out to a five star restaurant. In fact, these are seen as luxuries and things many of us are able to make a reality only every once in a while, if ever.
These films, however, remind us that mental wellness and health may not always be glamorous or one-size-fits-all, but it can be effective, strong, and personalized based on what works for you. It can be big actions and small actions. It can be us taking our power back in the face of people and institutions trying to strip us of it. It can be love and care from people who want to see us happy and thriving. It can be mutual support systems and taking turn holding space for each other. It can be pushing past your fear and asking for help anyways. It can be the exact opposite of what we thought it was supposed to look like and what society, our workmates, bosses, or family want it to look like. It is always up to us to decide what helps us to continue being our most authentic selves— no one else.
These films certainly reminded me of that. They inspired me to go home and take the following day to rest, reflect, and listen to good music. They encouraged me to stand up to those who continue to call me by the wrong name. They inspired me to keep going after my dreams and to keep trying to surround myself with people who want to support me on that journey. I hope they did the same for the friends and family who viewed them for the first time on Saturday. I hope that when you get a chance to see them, they will do the same for you.
The Mental Wellness Reel Camp for Girls was organized by Hawai‘i Women in Filmmaking in collaboration with the Truth, Racial Healing & Transformation (TRHT) Campus Centers at UH Mānoa and Mental Health of Hawaiʻi, and made possible thanks to the generous support of the National Endowment for the Arts, Advancing Girls Fund, a fund of Tides Foundation, and the City and County of Honolulu GIA.